The Life in Soffi's World

SoFFi

Sunday, December 13, 2009 8:30 pm

December soon will over. Sigh. December will over soon.
Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.
Aagh. Somebody, slow the time, please. No! Just stop the time! At least stop mine.

How I was happy in the last November. I found my lost spirits. The spirits which has gone years ago. I felt God, The Greatest, gave me so much blessing. I felt behind all my pathetic broken heart's feeling, God has shown His generous. My spirits has come back. The reason why I got up every morning. The reason why I dressed up. The reason why I wanna fly high. It was all coming back to me. My sunshine is back. Sunshine = spirits. I felt that I can face my craziest time as long as I have my sunshine by my side.

End of November as well end of my happiness. First of January God will take it. God will take back my sunshine. Those days will gone. My sunshine will gone away. How can I stand up? How can I face my own self? How will I pass my days without it? God, only two months? Only two months I enjoy every moments. Sigh.

Sunshine-ku akan pergi. Dia gak kan ada lagi di pagiku. Dia gak akan ada lagi di soreku. O God, why does every moments has to be so hard? Hatiku patah untuk kedua kalinya. Kali ini bahkan jauh lebih sulit dihadapi. Gimana aku akan menjalani ini tanpa dia? Dia semangatku. Karena dia lah aku berhasil melewati semua hari2 gila yg kuhadapi. O God......

Dan sekarang, hanya 12 hari tersisa yang bisa kujalani bersamanya. Tapi bahkan aku pun tak yakin akan sepenuhnya kami lalui. Ya Allah, kenapa hal ini selalu menyiksa.. Apa yang harus kulalui nanti tanpanya? Bagaimana aku bisa menghadapi semuaaa???
I really really don't know. Hiks.

There's a possibility
All that I had was all I gon' get
There's a possibility
All I gon get is gone with your step

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You're the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There's a possibility
I wouldn't know

Know that when you leave
By blood and by mean
You walk like a thieve
By blood and by mean
I'll fall when you leave

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You're the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There's a possibility
I wouldn't know

So tell me when my sigh is over
You're the reason why I'm close
Tell me when you hear me falling
Theres a possibility
It wouldn't show

By blood and by mean
I fall when you leave
By blood and by mean
I follow your lead

*bella's song when edward left her*

Labels: These days 1 comments | |

kunclang kancleng

SoFFi

Sunday, November 22, 2009 9:05 pm

Beberapa minggu terakhir ini entah kenapa aku gak mau merubah status instant messagingku. It is `kunclang kancleng`. Yang artinya kesana kemari tanpa ada tujuan yang jelas, tanpa tau maunya apa. Dan itulah yang sedang aku rasakan beberapa minggu terakhir ini.

Diawali dengan *another* wedding party of my best friend. Rasanya seperti... Well, I felt that I left behind. I feel that everyone who have been part of my heart are gone, they all left me.
Aku merasa puzzle mereka sudah tertata sempurna, with their own life. Sementara aku, hampir seluruh bagian puzzleku masih entah ada dimana, bagaimana bisa aku menatanya. Kerjaan rasanya masih belum settle, kehidupan rasanya masih gini2 aja, pasangan hidup apalagi, makin gak jelas.

Makanya aku bikin status itu, aku merasa sedang `kunclang kancleng`, kesana kemari, gak punya tujuan, hanya jalanin apa yang ada di depan mata.
Kalo melihat mereka, mereka yang pernah singgah di hatiku *dan masih*, I feel empty.

But I believe, life goes on. I will get thru all this.
A best friend has told me, `enjoy every moments, even it's bitter, that's a process to make you grow up and mature`.
I'll try.

Labels: These days 0 comments | |

what a......

SoFFi

Sunday, September 13, 2009, 11:40 am

What a life..
Sering kita merasa hidup itu gak adil. And it is, life is never fair. Tapi kalau kita mau menunggu beberapa saat sambil menyerahkan semuanya sama Allah SWT, kita gak akan mengatakan hal yg sama. It happened to me.
3 minggu yg lalu aku baru saja mendapatkan ketidak adilan and it hurts. Rasanya tak terbayangkan, pekerjaan yg kulakukan sampai jungkir balik tak dihargai sama sekali. Mau marah2, apa bisa? Mau complain sama siapa. Mau gak ngerjain kerjaan gak mungkin. Satu2nya yg bisa dikerjain cuma berdoa n menyerahkan semuanya sama Allah. Cuma menunggu satu minggu, masya Allah, jawaban dariNya langsung kudapat. Allah the Greatest, the Almighty. Just never lose hopes.

What a gadget..
Living in this world today 100% totally different with living in this world 15 years ago. Banyak hal gak mungkin jadi mungkin. Gadget2 baru yg memudahkan komunikasi semakin canggih, gak terbayangkan bisa nulis blog by smart phone seperti saat ini.. :) punya banyak temen baru di seluruh Indonesia, yang obrolan bersama mereka selalu kunanti setiap harinya. Ugh, what a hightech world we're living it.

What a perfect day..
The sun will always shine and so is my sunshine. Sejak perubahannya itu, dia totally become a 100% friend to rely on. Dia selalu siap bantu aku, siap dengerin aku, selalu ya untuk pulang bareng aku. Kali ini aku siap hanya untuk jadi sahabatnya, then I can be my self. I love you bibeh deh. Haha. Walo menantikan saat2 bertemu dengannya, but I'm fine, dia akan selalu ada untukku. I believe in it. Tapi begitulah as a sunshine, dia ga bisa dipegang, ga bisa dimiliki, cuma bisa dirasain kehangatannya.
Sunshine o sunshine, I cannot touch n reach you, but I will always love you. *beuh dalem*

What a bunch of friends..
Friends come and go, but good friends will stay for good. I have found many new friends for the last one year. N I thanked God for it. Sekarang2 ini semakin jelas bagiku makna teman yg sebenarnya. Friends, we can live without it.

What a life... We should thanked God for it.